Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize