You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
