I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
