I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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