This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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