CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
