her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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