Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
