She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
