there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize