Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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