You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Can't talk, ducks in the car
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
