ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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