I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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