I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They took my balls.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
