No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
God I need to hump something, right now.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
