and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
