im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
