we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
