i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
even my farts smell like vagina
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
