Do vagina's smell?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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