If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
