He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
