I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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