So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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