Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
