But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
