id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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