I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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