i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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