Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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