Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
