he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
