Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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