Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
