I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
