im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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