Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
