He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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