Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize