I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
