I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
