Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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