When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
