Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i may or may not be watching the land before time
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
