How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
