this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
