and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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