There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
