LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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