your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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