I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
