Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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