it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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