i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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