Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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