Dual....:-)
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
false alarm, still single
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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