He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize