took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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