I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
