She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
