And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
