I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
